Replacement BroIt happened a year ago. It was spring break. I don't know why, but for some reason I decided to leave my sunny Florida campus to venture back home to DC. I guess I was home sick. I hadn't been back home since xmas and I was really missing my family, especially my big bro Shane. Shane was more than just a brother to me, he was my bestfriend, the only real friend I ever had, and...
BADLY DRAWING BOYPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===While Matt Strickson's PowerPoint presentation was unremittingly dreary, the way his arse flexed and rippled in the back of his tight grey trousers every time he turned towards the whiteboard was more than enough to keep me entertained....
ROADSIDE ASSISTANCEPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===Driving over to Rugby for a meeting with a prospective customer, my car started spluttering on the A4304, and refused to respond when I tried to accelerate. Half a mile on, the engine was threatening to cut out altogether, so I pulled...
After going up to the cabin with Gary I guess that Larry must have thought I was mad at him for telling Gary about me because I didn't call or go to church for about a month,but it really was because I had to go out of the country for my job. When I got back I had all kinds of messages and emails from Gary and Larry. So I called them up and they both thought I was mad because of what was said...
FATHER AND SON MOMENTSPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===...
I had been hanging out with Tommy, Michelle, Robby, and Erin for about 3 months before I moved in. I was living at mom’s house, which wasn’t exactly ideal. Mom got under my skin, and I got under hers. We drove each other crazy, but she never lost ‘best-friend-mom’ status.After a while, things got really bad, and my home life started going to shit. Mom kicked me out shortly thereafter.I...
STAIN DEVILSPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===The restaurant seemed a lot more expensive than those I was used to: it certainly wouldn't have been the sort of place I'd have picked if given the choice. The starters alone cost more than I would usually be prepared to pay for a whole meal,...
BOTH WAYSPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===At first I was convinced my ex-wife was in the bed with me.It was Sunday morning and I was in that half-dreaming half-dozing state I sometimes end up in when I've slept too long and I really should get up. I'd opened an eye to check the alarm...
Saturday morning, I am standing in the express line at Wal*Mart with my jug of milk. Ahead of me, I see a woman who obviously cannot count. The express line is for 1 to 12 items and her cart is half full, maybe 25 items at least. The guy behind me has 2 three foot tall Halloween lawn decorations. I gesture to the woman with the full cart and whisper...
BY POPULAR DEMANDPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong...
Saturday's weather was glorious. My wife was busy so I ventured out for a walk. Not far from home, there is a beautiful park so I headed there.I sat on a park bench for a few minutes, warming myself in the sun. I noticed a car in the parking lot. It appeared to be occupied by a man about my age. I got up and wandered around the perimeter of the park and wound up in the parking lot. The...
CARRIED AWAYPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===Pulling out of the car park after meeting Cameron, I couldn't help but marvel at how much nerve he must have. Imagine going back to a stranger's flat and rimming him while his mates looked on! The idea of doing something like that myself was...
CANDID CAMERONPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong...
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERSPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong...
Jamaica Moon DreamsI first saw him on my first day in Jamaica. He was leisurely walking the beach, every so often kicking at the tide as the beautiful blue ocean crashed onto the white sands. Despite the beauty of the island; he stood out to me as the most striking thing on the beach. The morning sun shone down on him, illuminating his every step like a spot light on a stage. And yes, he was...
“Hey, sorry for the trouble and thanks for the ride.” Ketan said, while hopping on my bike and holding my waist. Ketan was my brother’s friend – 5’7, average body but fair good looking charming face. He was studying MBA and wanted to rent an apartment urgently. My brother asked me to show him our cousin’s flat and I agreed. I had not met Ketan more than a couple times and didn’t know him...
A HOLISTIC APPROACH Part of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong...
PLEASANT THOUGHTSPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong==Debbie turned out to be very nice. A bit giggly, perhaps, but that could be put down to the nervousness of being on a first date. She probably thought me too quiet for the same reason.We'd got on well – better than I'd dared to hope – and I'd suggested that we could meet...
I work late once a week, it is a pain to close up the department, and I hate lingering issues that have to be resolved before I can leave the building. Most of the building is empty and I am still working away. I glance at the corner of my screen, it is getting close to eleven, and the side door to the back stairs swings open and in walks Cain. He, like me, is a department...
COUPLING UPPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===I was back at the small toilet building tucked away among the trees in the park.Curiosity about what I'd seen there on my last visit had got the better of me and I'd left the office early with the excuse of having a bad stomach and the...
A true story. Only the names have been changed for privacy reasons.The year I turned 19 years old was the year my grandmother turned 75. For her birthday she was going to pay a trip to Malaga (Spain) for the whole family. Nephews and nieces included. One of the nephews Harry was/is afraid of flying so he decided to go by car; He had this A-Team style van and was planning on...
THE RIGHT TROUSERSPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===On Friday afternoon, after meeting a group of potential clients at their Coventry head office, I thought I'd take a walk into the city centre before the shops closed to see if I could find a new pair of trousers. I'd been wondering what...
PANTOMIME COWPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong=Jake mentioned over tea that the drama department at his college was looking for someone to help out with the Christmas pantomime. It was still early November but rehearsals were already underway....
The CaptainBy Marshall Jackson I could hear him as he entered the dungeon. He was yelling about something that had gone wrong with the ship. We were on our way to the America's to bring supplies to the newly found settlement in Jamestown. I was a stow away who'd been accused of murder but escaped and hid in an empty whiskey barrel I found near the cargo when they were loading the...
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